Top 21 things an Indian does after returning from US.......

Top 21 things an Indian does after returning to India from the "US "

21. Tries to use credit cards in a roadside hotel.

20 . Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of being health conscious.

19 . Sprays deo so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, he

will say Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about the air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)



14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far is possible

(but deep inside multiplies by 43).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When he needs to say Z (zed), he never says Z (Zed), instead repeats "Zee" several times, and if the other person is unable to get it, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

11 . Writes the date in MM/DD/YYYY. On watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and the Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8 . Avoids eating spicy food.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke. Eats Pizza instead of Dosa.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
Asks questions etc. about India as though its his first visit to India

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards any Hotel/Dhaba food.


Few more important ones:

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of the Airways
by which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India and tries to
roll the bag on Indian Roads.


The Ultimate one

1. Tries to begin any conversation with "In US ..." or "When I was in US..."

this one was one hilarious post....after a long long tym...and ya...true too!!! great job!

ahahaha. Good one!

The Twenty One un-Commandments

Wow (exclamation)

I was dying for this (period)
I just was (period again)
Ankita you've kept it so subtle that it doesn't even need a gulp and be pushed down. The wit just flows innately.

My pick:

- "13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket."

- "9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag"."

- "5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule". "

- "3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of the Airways
by which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival." [AWESOME]

I need you to write more of these...hehehehe they were shoooo goood and funnniiieee

im honoured..n i thought it was stupid n not worth writing...mervyn..ur appreciation made go up like a balloon (prick me someone)..u have a way with words..true journo material

omigod!daz soooooooo true!!....n yeah u mite jus wanna add call centre ppl wid d us returnd ones too...

drinks DIET COKE WITH FATTY BURGER

i do no.19 and i've never been to the u.s

and no.17 is the truest thing ever written

this is personal experience nachiket..so cant be wrong..

May i add to no. 17
Asks the waiter to bring the cheque rather than the bill

you can do that..but the funnier thing is thats wat i do too.....looks like this is becomimg general day by day....

Arre u US returrn yourrr self? u seem thokno ith aall

yeah, it is actually.
another one, i know someone. canada returned, well not returned but visiting.
He keeps on drinking beer in place of water. Dunno how he survives!

Im sure he is an exception

may i add another one to the list---
cribs how slower the computeres in india are....

conveniently forgets tht practically we working on their junk....

hey this is coolll...is all abt a malayali....speaking is his...mallu..accent....well, (b4 that let me tell u that me too a mallu...lolz.....its jus fun no...offence plz.....okey?.....so chill.....

here it goes

READ IN MALLU STYLE:


1) Name the wonly part of the werld, where Malayalis don’t werk hard?
Kerala

2) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai (dont breakur heads its… Dubai ), zimbly to meet
his ungle in the Gelff (Gulf).

3) Why do Malayali’s go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

4) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

5) Why did the Malayali go to the concert in Rome ?
Because he wanted to hear pope music.

6) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

7) Why did his wife divorce him?
Because he was louwing another woman.

Who found out that?
His aandy.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto.

11)Who is Malayali’s fyamousu eactor and aectress?
Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.

VEERY VEERY IMBORDANT

i feel like im drowning in mallu land!! hehe..... well 1 of the things
i noticed all these ppl do is talk bout how "India has changed...and
when i was livin in India bla bla bla"

N the first thing that they do is visit either the Taj Mahal or Rajasthan as if anywhere else is hell!