Learning how to drive, in verse
by Harshita Yalamarty
Learning how to drive
Can be very complicated
Especially when you're short and have to adjust the seat
So, that the steering wheel sticks into your belly
and you have to crane your neck to look into the rearview.
It's complicated enough by itself,
so lets not make it harder,
by trying to make this poem rhyme. Because that would be hard,
thinking of rhymes, on top of remembering all the scares
that make up driving on roads full of speed breakers, cows and other cars.
So first day was the A - B - C
Accelerator - Brake - Clutch.
No, I DID know that from the start. First I started with A
And I gave it all I had, and the car zzzzooomed ahead with an agitated wheeze
Poor car, taught so many learners, as jittery and ignorant as I. Must not torture it.
Teacher Dude screams "Dheema karo!"
"Slow Down!"
But he hasn't taught me how to, so I just let go of the pedal
And he yanks the steering wheel out of my hands and starts manoeuvring.
While I clench my eyes shut and think about happy things and not hyperventilate.
Phew. So that's done.
Now the indicators.
Up for left, and down for right. And that's the only thing I do right.
I don't confuse my left and right. But how the hell does this steering work!
If I turn the wheel round twice, won't the real wheels straighten themselves? And keep going straight?
While we had to take
A left or right turn?
Never mind, an AC, power windows, power steering and big sound system wala saloon car for me.
And then an autorickshaw pulls up next to my window and honks, and the driver leers.
Forget the radio. How would I sing along while driving?! It needs concentration!
The next day was B
The Brake. Most important.
For me, especially. Since I get irritated with the speedometer never moving above 5!
And sometimes forget that I am just a learner, not Schumacher ki aulat
I suspect that the Teacher dude never took his foot off the brake on the first day.
Good for humanity
Now that I have learnt B
The car doesn't threaten to be air-borne when a breaker approaches
And I can stop the car before I hit that poor unsuspecting cows.
Seriously, they deserve a better life than that.
Getting a hang of steering, by the way
I don't question anymore.
Turn, turn, turn. Then straighten. Involves lots of veering into wrong lanes.
But "That's ok, you're learning. Bas ek feel aa jaani chahiye. Aap steering ko mat dekhiye!
Road ke rooh ke saath chalaiye"
Which is such
A poetic thing to say.
And I'm driving with the rooh of the road now.
The rooh of the car and my rooh are starting to harmonise.
It's a bloody roohfest here, I tell you!
Just the C left now.
Whyyyyyyyy, I say.
I'm perfectly happy with two pedals. I have only two feet after all!
And all that gear-changing will blow my brain. As it is, I keep forgetting to check the rearview!
But the indicators are what I do right. And tomorrow is a new day!
A/N- Finally found the will to post! Do share your experiences of driving with me too... so far, my attempts have been disastrous! Don't ask.
Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:38 pm
Its been one year since i learnt how to drive but still get to hear comments like 'arrey madam kaise chala rahe ho'
