BABY'S DAY OUT-PART1

(warning:this is a really long post,so i suggest you get some popcorn and get cosy...its a long
long ride!)

DATE:21st June

MISSION: to figure out downtown BOMBAY...

hey ppl...
in
case ur wondering what the title has got to do with the mission...im
the baby and its about my day out in downtown bombay..(i couldn't think
of a better title)...just like babies are curious about everything
around them ,so has been the case with me and downtown bombay ....i
have always been fascinated by the old bombay charm and as i discovered
yesterday,i always will be...it was like a second home,my cousin stayed
at colaba....every family outing meant going to south bombay...if we
watched a movie it had to be at REGAL,EROS,STERLING or METRO(im of
course talking of the single screen beauties...not the new multiplexes
owned by adlabs...fortunately REGAL and EROS have survived the
multiplex madness),dinnner at delhi darbar,or grabbing kathi rolls or
kebabs at bade miyaan...everything about downtown bombay...dam its hard
to describe it....the beautiful victorian buildings(especially when
they are lit at night..its an awesome spectacle!!!),of course now they
are heritage buildings and rightly so....the hustle and bustle of the
city...the beautiful
promenades...the lush green fields of oval maidan, cross maidan....its
all really beautiful...but for some god forsaken reason in the last
five years or so...we haven't been frequenting south bombay as
much...and as a result everything i knew about south bombay had become
foggy in my head and ive been wanting to clear out the confusion...also
every time i went there it was either with family or friends,so i never
really( i mean REALLY!!) got to discover the place...when its a planned
outing with friends or family...you know where you're going to go ,what
you're going to do and then head back...there's no element of surprise
or a fear of the unknown...(which of course are plenty downtown)....
i had been wanting to explore downtown
Bombay alone for a really long time...but for some reason or the other
hadn't been able to do...shut up!!ur a lazy fat ass...if u wanted to u
would have...whats with all the excuses(uhh..thats what my alter-ego
has to say....).....
so anyway, i finally decided on Wednesday night
that the next day i would be out on my own,no friends , no familia....i
would be a tourist in the place that i love the most....BOMBAY!!!

(in
school, teachers always told us,that its important to remember that
while writing essays on a particular topic...u shud concentrate on the
topic rather than wasting time speaking about the journey,or why you
went there and so on...but heck my teachers won't be reading this...so
i can do what i want...yeah....i feel good!!!)


thursday morning:
I
came back from yoga(ahem...something wrong with that??),had a
bath,fried an egg,buttered my toast....dressed up...finally i told my
mom that i was going out and might be late...she asked me where i was
going...(i really didn't want to divulge my plans to anybody...didn't
want to spoil the thrill...but moms are moms ...you've got to tell them
everything or risk being subject to severe emotional blackmailing and
the silent treatment...which btw they are very good at) ...so i told
her what i had in mind...satisified with my explanation,she granted me
the(yes granted!!...moms dont give...)permission...so i packed up some
stuff,which included a windcheater,a notepad, a
pencil and a pen....and the most prized thing i possess...my
camera(and just so you know it costs 25 k...so i was really
skeptical...but then i had pictured myself as those discovery travell
and living explorers...so i had to carry it).i took the 11:07 train
from matunga road for churchgate...in the train i seated myself..it
would be another half an hour to my destination... in front of me were
these two Gujarati uncles who were solving a huge gujju crossword in a
magazine..their team work was worth applauding but by the time they got
off at mumbai central(y cant they just call it Bombay central!)they had
managed to get only four or five words....then there was this other guy
whos fingers had paled from the ten packs of cigarettes that he smoked
everyday...on the other side this guy with well oiled hair rocked back
and forth trying to keep himself from dozing off....next to him there
was this other person who was in deep sleep,and the gentle rocking of
the train forced his head to drop to the right,on a third persons
shoulder..who simple muttered something under his breath,jerked his
shoulder ,forcing our sleeping beauty to regain an equilibrium
position...but in no time he was back on his shoulder...and the act was
repeated all over again...while all this happened i was plotting the
plan of action in my head...first churchgate ..then where...and then i
had a vison of the dream that i had seen the previous night....it
involoved two monstrous nigerians(im not racist...neither do i have a
thing against Nigeria or its people) who corner me at colaba and take
everything that i had including my prized CAMERA...leaving only the
clothes on my back...so since morning all the self defense techniques(i
know a little bit of kickboxing) that i know and all the WWF moves have
been circulating in my head like blood...(im not exaggerating here
...believe me).i tried to clear my head of all this crap...just then
the train braked to a halt...i was at CHURCHGATE.....
(from there on i just followed my instincts...)

on
coming out from the station the grand EROS theatre stood before me...i
removed the camera from my bag...slowly...my eyes roving to locate any
unwanted movements in the crowd...nothing...so i removed it and clicked
a couple of pictures....i then took the left from the station,the lush
green grass of the oval maidan on my right calling my name out...but i
had work to do and moved on...right ahead was the flora fountain,a name
synonymous with downtown bombay...the area is referred to by different
names-fort,fountain,hutatma chowk...but they are all the same
place...again i removed the camera and clicked a couple of pictures..i
realised that i was very conscious of the fact that i had an expensive
camera in my bag...and i seemed a little uncomfortable...and probably
it was showing in my body language...so i decided to keep it in the bag
as far as possible...
i continued walking the straight path, across the promenade onto veer nariman road...there i took a
right...and a few steps later i saw THE BOMBAY STOCK EXCHANGE....i got
to admit it was the first time i had seen it...it was a massive biuilding....i was standing,across the road with around fifty other
people who were all staring up at a giant screen showing CNBC...keeping
track of the shares and the latest news...i then veered onto
the famous Dalal street...(.images from black friday flashed before
me)....crossing a restaurant called Dwarka,and judging by the crowd
there,im guessing that it is a popular food joint for the share
bazaar employees....the entry to the share bazaar was heavily
monitored...there were 2 serpentine lines...and police officers at the
head of the queue carefully screened everyone who entered...its high
time we did such things elsewhere too...,onto the mian road again i
walked straight to reach Kalaghoda,the hub of BOMBAY art and culture...
i decided to cool off for a while at Rythm house ,probably the oldest
music shop in the city...that place is simply awesome...they have
everything and i mean everything...the a-z of
music...hindi,marathi,international..everything...
a signboard on
their door suggested that they wanted sales employees...that got me
thinking for a while...but i realised that not much of the vacations is
left...so i might as well enjoy myself... after spending 20 minutes or
so i waltzed into JEHANGIR ART GALLERY...that has housed collections of
great Indian artists like M.F Hussain (well he's the only artist that i
know ...lol) and amateurs too...i had been there a long time
back...probably when i was 7 or 8...so i had no clue as to what to
expect and what not to....i guess my demeanour complete with the khadi
shirt and stubble passed me off as an artist because i was spared the
mandatory screening by the guard inspite of the signboard clearly
mentioning it...(weird na....or the only other explanation is that the
guy at the entrance wasn't the watchman but a memberof a group of art
thieves who were planning a heist ,ocean's style.....i)
i was trying to look as arty as
possible...the first hall where i went had a collection in bronze
..they were some sort of frames.having a large number of permutations
of circles,squares,triangles and numbers put together in every way
possible....since i could not understand shit i decided to observe the
other people there and maybe take some pointers from them....there were
some who were as clueless as i was.....they had probably been forced to
visit the place by their teachers in college..then there was this other
group.....they tilted their head one way,then the other,took 2 steps
ahead,then moonwalked back to their original position,nodded their
heads in appreciation moved on to the next piece....i mimiced the
drill,but to no avail...i was still clueless...so much for being an art
appreciator...i walked out and entered a hall diaogonally opposite to
the one i had just got out of.....suddenly everything made sense....on
display was a collection by an artist called Suman Roy....his
collection was inspired by Jesus after his recent visit to Italy...im
not making this up...the placard at the entrance mentioned all this about him,his methods,his influences and so on....so as i was
saying his collection actually made sense....they wer not
circles,squares and rectangles put together in a fancy way and
christened abstract.....they were beautiful... the intricate details
seemed to speak for themselves...they were the most beautiful paintings
i had seen in person...i thought of taking a picture but decided
against it...i didn't want to share that beauty with you all(hehe...no
seriously you got to check it out yourself rather than me talking about
it or showing you a couple of pictures.)..so after an interesting
rendezvous at jehangir's...i strolled out ....it was terribly hot ...i
was sweating like a pig...so decided to have an energee(chilled milk for NON BOMBAYITES) at a stall
opposite the prince of wales museum which is about 50 yards from
jehangir's down the same road...i sat at a bus stop katta and relaxed
for a bit taking down notes...i was completely oblivious of the fact
that peole were staring at me while i walked with a pencil and book in
hand taking stuff down...but thats the beauty of bombay..there are many
weird people that people see everyday...but they don't have time to sit
and entertain such freaks(in this case,me)...but none of this really
mattered to me...i was having a blast....
then i walked towards
REGAL(i remember the first movie i saw ther was free willy..!!)it's
diagonally opposite the museum across the road...( i don't think im
painting a pretty picture of bombay...but anyway)i started walking down
the causeway(had been there a thousand times before),bumping into
confused foreign tourists with maps in their hands...crossed cafe
mondegar(never been ther sadly)...continued walking putting pieces of
the big jigsaw i.e south bombay...fianlly i was at LEOPOLDS...my
shangri-la(thats a bit to much...sorry...)...the spirit of shantaram
took over as i made my way into the restaurant..(cafe..restaurant...cafe...urghh...)
and
seated myself in a comfy place facing the firangs(there are plenty of
those at LEO'S)...sipping their cold beers...ordering indain
curries...their standard being butter chicken and naan...the
waiter(steward..waiter..urgh...its happening again) approached me to
take my order...i glanced at the menu..and like all miserly people
scanned the prices first and then placed my order..."one chicken and
cheese sandwich,grilled and a cold coffee...is that all sir".....i
nodded..and he went away leaving me alone to appreciate the beauty of
the place(i have been there before with friends)...i sat back with my
pad and pencil and started writing...again...
the black and white
mosaic floors,the gaint CAFE LEOPLD'S clock in between two glass
columns,the pictures gracing the walls included an elvis portrait(there
were more han one with elvis in them)...a black and white painting of
THE GATEWAY OF INDIA...a beatles album cover..the one where they are
crossing the road(sorry not a big beatles fan) and a lot more...my
attention meanwhile was diverted by two russians sitting at the table
next to mine who just wasted more than half of thier butter
chicken...but nevertheless they ordered another beer each...the
bastards....wasting such precious stuff..they cud've just given it to
me...iw ould have been more than obliged to clean up their plates(ok
now im sounding really weird...but believe me if one of my friends
,tanay was in my place he would have actually done it)...while i wrote
all this down the steward(waiter...aaaaaah)came with my order....i was
done in no time...my bhukkad friends had given me ample training
....i asked for the bill and while he went out to get it i observed
the logo of leopolds... i had never really noticed it before..i think
its really cool...its a lion with wings with a beer-mug attached to
it...or something like that...i sneaked out a tissue(whoa am i brave or
what!!)...i have the picture alongside...but it aint too clear...so see
if u can figure it out...the bill paid...i moved on....

(will put up the second part tommorow.....)
cheers