Short Notes - Pillowfights And Drugs.

1) A catfight is the only exhibition of violence where you can say “This is totally turning me on”, and not seem psychotic.

"Dude check out those chicks fighting. This is totally turning me on."

"Dude check out that dude stabbing the other dude. This is totally turning me on."

One of those two don't sound right.


2) I wish I could do magic. Because then I’d be able to make Himesh Reshammiya disappear.


3) Whenever I find something in my hair, it's never followed by a positive reaction. It's never been "Woahh there's a diamond in my hair! Sweet!”

It's always "Shit! What's this piece of burnt wood doing in my hair?” or "Fuck! When did that crow shit on me?”


4) People keep talking about men and women being equal. Maybe they are. However society will never view certain things in the same vein for both sexes, whether we like it or not. For example:

Pillow fight between two women in their underwear = Awesome.
Pillow fight between two men in their underwear = Gay.
Pillow fight between a man and a woman in their underwear = Weird.

Boy having many girlfriends = Looked up to.
Girl having many boyfriends = Looked down upon.
Girl having many girlfriends = Legendary.
Boy having many boyfriends = Injured.

Female seductively sucking on lollypop = Hot.
Male seductively sucking on lollypop = Uncomfortable.
Lollypop seductively sucking on lollypop = One too many drops of LSD.


5) Why is it that only physically beautiful people talk about inner beauty? I have never seen an aesthetically challenged person rambling on about inner beauty. And when I say aesthetically challenged, I mean ugly. I was just trying to be politically correct.


6) Politically correct is an oxymoron because there is nothing correct about politics.


7) I want to be a cop in India because that is the only job where I’ll always be expected to be at least 15 minutes late. No questions asked.


8 ) I think Dino Morea’s parents were initially hoping for a dinosaur when he was conceived.


9) It has been brought to my notice that my idea of making a new version of "The Flinstones" where all the characters are high on weed and naming it "Flintstoned", is not even as amusing as I think it is.


10) I'm tired of hearing our Indian actresses say that they will kiss on screen only if the script demands it. What is that even supposed to mean? 90% of the time our Bollywood films involve people in love, and when you're in love, you generally make out. You do not go running towards each other in ultra slow motion for a passionate....hug, and then feel each others upper backs up in a moment of uninhibited lust.

In the very unlikely event of me acting in films someday, I will tell my director that I will kiss on screen only if it has no connection whatsoever to the script. For example, my girlfriend in the movie dies and I'm at her funeral with the rest of her family and friends. Everyone's struggling to hold back their tears because we all loved her deeply. It is a tender moment in the movie and the melancholy music playing in the background just adds to the prevalent sadness in the air. Her sister who I've never met before comes upto me, her eyes welled up, and says "She...she told me she wanted to marry you and you're the best thing that ever happened to her". And just as she bursts into a fountain of tears upon the realization that the marriage she had envisioned for her sister would never take place, I make a move on her and we make out for the next two minutes while her parents look on in shock.

I think this could work.

Flintstoned.....wud be fun...so u cumin out with that?

Haha sure...if I get the legalities sorted out. So basically...nope.

question
would himesh still be able to sing when he disappears???

I hope not...because then the whole point of the trick would be lost.

dude this is the single most enjoyable poat i have read till now...i share all your views...you spoke thru for many of us...

haha thanks a lot man....I'm glad I unintentionally represented your views.

nishaan u really know how to put it...

errrr n i 'ope wen u sed u wanted to be a cop in india u din mean it....just keep on writing yer crazily articulate articles n become famous n u can be as late as u want...wherever...!

hahah thanks. and dont worry...I did not mean it at all.

that, would work.
that, would anyway make reshamia disappear.

plz tell me the spell (if u do disover it sumday) that 'll dissapear himesh
nd nice way to put it buddy...

hey nishaan....ur article is one of da quirkiest i hv yet cum across...n yeah man ironically wat u sed is quite true (in a wy..!!).....tho da part abt making out wid ur deceased luver's sis wud be one f the most "controversial " social issue after moonmoon sen's capers in 'bowbarrackz' !!

Thank you my dear fellow bengalis (well half way atleast...I'm half bengali half mangalorean)...but what did moonmoon do? I have a major crush on her daughter. I don't know why I'm telling you this though.

buddy whoch one is ur crush???
she has two daughter very different from each other...lemme guess.....









no leave it.....i m very poor a guesser

Ooh! Bow Barracks 4ever was like a blue film with Moonmoon as heroine!

hahaha well you had a 50% chance of being right...anyway its Riya. I find her incredibly hot. And Ive never heard of that movie...btw is "moonmoon" her real name?

well,thats the name by which she is famous ........

hey buddy...brilliant post....and she's moonmoon really....hope u didn't miss the 2 "moons"......

thanks man...and what a strange name...I wonder how much thought her parents put into that name..."hey look..theres the moon.."; "i see a moon too!"..."lets call our daughter moonmoon!"

nice post man!!!!!

well guys something really hot

hey man when u said..hey there's a moon...i remembered all the weird innuendos we used as kids...he he...i read this post again its stil so refreshing....good work...