GET A SLICE OF MY SUPERNACULAR EXCOGITATIONS !!!!!!

Throttle me if this doesn't get your taste buds tingling !!!


I’ m emotionally low , all messed up in the brain , and I wish I could just get one chance to screw this relentless world and go off on a pleasure trip , a rather unceasing trip to wonderland and get absorbed in its sublime atmosphere !!! But the question is , how to get there ?? How to get access to this new world which caters to all my needs and is a dumping ground for all my grievances ??? Most of them said , alcohol is the solution to the problem. I say different .
I need not drown into a world of delusion created superficially by gulping down multiple glasses of alcohol . Yes , it might give me some respite , but it won’t satisfy my want completely . For this purpose , I binge !!! And plus , I am not allowed to set my hands on alcohol too often as , ahem ahem !! , mark my words , I am LEGALLY not allowed to drink !!! yeah right !!! Dad keeps a close watch on the levels of Smirnoff every day , so me getting a sip out of that bottle ?? hmmm FAT CHANCE !!!
So now I look at other options to dissolve my pain and enter into the world of utmost pleasure. And the option is none other than FOOD !!!
But what kinds of food ??? Passion food ? Junk food ? Home made food ? Five star food ?
Street food ? colored food ? stale food ? Dry food ? Wet food ? WHATTTTTT ????????
Blimey !!! The options are endless !!!! But I choose , what best suits the occasion , and its definitely not ghar ka khaana or stale food…..In order to mesmerize that little brain of mine , I need food which sets d endorphins on a wobbling spree !!! And so I binge !!!
For starters , I ate soft and tender malai chicken tikka kababs . mmmmmmmmm…..
Crispy fried honey chicken followed !!!! And now I have gradually started to mellow down my world of sorrow !!! But mind you , I’m just getting started .
After those sumptuous appetizers which tingled my taste buds , its time now to indulge myself in MAIN COURSE !!!!
A steaming hot , cheesy , very cheesy , spicy chicken double cheese pizza!!!! Oh crap !!! , as I pull out a slice of this utterly tempting , delightful pizza , I can see the cheese stretching out endlessly …I try to consume it altogether in haste much to the agony of my mouth which has to face the wrath of the hot cheese !!!!And as it goes down my oesophagus , and down to my stomach , I feel the utmost pleasure filling up my senses…..I can feel my sorrow becoming more and more weak as I bite through the every slice of that diabolique pizza . It slowly dissolves itself in the inevitably gripping taste .
And finally , the climax of my murder series , the dessert !!!
Known as the TALL GLASS CHOCOLATE TROUFFLE CAKE , its name suggests a very negligible portion of its power !!! Layered with hot chocolate sauce accompanied by the softest and the mushiest cake I’ve ever tasted in my life , and as I let it play with my endorphins , it makes up for all the shabby stabs on my sorrow , and finishes it in one extraordinary blow , simultaneously , sending me into the world of NIRVANA !!!!!!!!

Wack away your blues dude !!!!


Sulking throughout the day , having an unpleasant state of mind ???? Or your simply going bonkers ??? Tears streaming down your eyes or your getting the momentary suicidal jitters ??? Well congratulations , you’re in a state called DEPRESSION and are severely prone to addiction !!!!
I keep dwindling through this phase every now and then , and after quite a number of years , it seems pretty hackneyed to me…
But as for the amateurs out there , there’s a whole new world awaiting your arrival !!!
On the gateway to hell , they are waiting with prickly thorns , and tones of coloured pills , syringes , white powder and shit loads of sulking and depression !!!
So are ya set to enter this wild and vicious parallel world ???
Well here goes………..
The other day , I had a usual go at my family at home….General clash of opinions and the prosaic nagging sessions !!! ufff !!! got me all worked up yet again !!! Wham bam bing bang…and loadsa other noises amplifying the whole quarrelling session !! haha , but that’s the way it goes every time we fight like cats and dogs with me screaming at the top of my voice overpowering my mum and dad’s annoying preaching sessions !!! It all ends with me throwing tantrums ( As well as household items !!!)and they shouting curses !!!
Ok so it has ended !!! but just like that ??? naah !!There’s more to the whole big bang explosion !!! But this doesn’t necessarily happen very time , only when it gets too severe!! Usually , it is in a much civilized manner , with us being at our sophisticated best while arguing , HOWEVER , when things get worse , we’re back to square one!!
In such a situation , one is more vulnerable to addictions or getting absorbed into the state of depression . But luckily , I fall into the league of the thick skinned , least bothered and the AHEM AHEM !! , mentally stable category coz I have various ways to divert my frustrations or anger or whatever comes in that category !!!
I assure ya guys , throwing things , breaking windows or banging your head to the wall , is just a few ways to calm yourself down !!! But the best and certified way , is to SCREAM YOUR LUNGS OUT MAN , suddenly that is!!!!! The deafening sound , which gets others to almost pee in their pants , gives you the ultimate satisfaction that you have successfully transferred your anger , out of your system to some other dimwit in your vicinity !!! No number of iridescent pills can give you a high as this high pitched shouting does !!!!
Moral of the story , stop searching for horrendous ways to kick your depression , just be simple and flow with the confluence dude !!!!!

"GET LOST , JUST LIKE I DID !!!!!!!"


Awesome , awesome, awesome !!!! That’s the word man !!! The magical word enough to describe my short yet ecstatic trip to the land of the lord , Puri . A brisk yet supernacular trip to the core man !!! These were some of the most amazing days of my life !!! The rush of the true blue ocean , and the divine effervescence of lord Jagannath and a fun-filled company of mum , di and baby , all the ingredients of my next best thing to a perfect trip!!! However , this was not what I had to say when I actually landed their the first day ….uuffff !!!! Stinking sea wind , shit laden roads , warm, humid weather , dwarfed bulls with shit enamored asses , dirty glares, stinking drains, moss filled gullies !!! yuck !!!! whleaaaa !!! aaarrrggghhhh !!!! disgustingly gross !!!! What the hell was I thinking man!

But as the days unfolded, puri’s hidden glory gradually came into my cataraced sight !!! hahahah…….



But jokes apart , the serenity of such a divine place sets in quite some time after you’ve actually witnessed the other wondrous features of this peaceful city ….The simplicity and the notoriety of the people make you feel at home. The evening sea is a sight one must never miss even the nastiest of situations man !!!! Doing herogiri in the sea has its own high man !!! Plus you don’t even have care about the stupid aunties in your otherwise homely societies who will comment upon your weird dressing sense !!! what do ya expect us to wear in this blistering heat man ??? skiing suits !!!! bitch !!!

Well anyways , leaving the fat asses aside , lets talk about how sultry I looked on the beach man !!!! ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh , aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh , hahahahahahahahaha !!!



Whateva, lets move on to a more sane topic…hmmm , so where was I ??? ,ahh yes , the serenity of the freaking vast ocean…..Puri gives you a feeling of pure bliss until you get squashed by the vast , gigantic waves approaching your measly presence………..Well, anyways you need to be free from all your past anxieties and leave your tensions and screw ups far behind if you want to absorb the true beauty of this utterly wondrous place in its true colours!!!! So go ahead and pack your stuff and set out on an inexorable trip to pure ecstasy !!! Cheers !!!!!!

MY DRUNKEN ESCAPADE !!!!! – Part 1( Sombre……)


FLAMES TO DUST
LOVERS TO FRIENDS
WHY DO ALL GOOD THINGS
COME TO AN END !!!!!

Whoa !!! Got my song man !!!! This is exactly what I was feeling when I finally reached home after a rowdy , wild , whacky , embarrassing,( call it what so ever , the list is unceasingly lengthy man !!) night !!!! Nelly Furtado must have gone through something similar or rather a more emotional incident , or must have simply cracked her brains to create a pseudo atmosphere to compose this one helluva song with timbaland which is accompanied by her befitting voice !!!!
I am very indecisive about night out plans for the very hackneyed reason , that my principled father ( YEAH RIGHT ) , would simply bust my ass if I landed up at home around or after 9:00 P.M. Now what the hell is that yaar ???? Who comes back home at nine from a night out man ??? Well ,according to my PAPPPA (As I fondly call him), girls from GOOD FAMILIES ,ahem ahem !!! , with good values do so !!!! Yeah right dude , particularly in front of you folks , but believe me you have no idea what goes on behind your back !!! If any parent is viewing this, my serious advice, LET LOSE BABY , BUT WITH LIMITATIONS !!! hahahaha………
Anyways , back to my topic , so where was I ??? hmmm ??? aaahhhh , the starting …
Well my day was going pretty normal , all smooth , no urges , no hassles , all relaxed , rather bored and this boredom , however was like the SILENT WARNING BEFORE THE STORM…. heheheheh ….But it did keep me in the state of sanity , which I so rarely be in ….But as I mentioned earlier, ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO AN END……heheh… Wicked !!!
And so I got this very exciting urge to go and have a blast with my office pals , to a place called TURQOISE COTTAGE( Short mein TC’S)…..Or rather just get drunk big time…don’t know why ? But I had this very vehement desire to gulp down a few drinks and get a quick high !!!!! And then jive at night because I had very little time you see , as I had to report to my father at 11:00 sharp !!! hehehe …and plus the bloody place is at an hour’s distance from my place , to add on to the list of my difficulties to go partying !!!
I didn’t have the slightest idea that this wish of mine would go straight down the drain , coz the dancing part never happened , and instead I got into a situation way beyond my imagination and far more exciting , hehehe, and way too intensive for me to understand the gravity of the situation , when I was completely WASTED !!!! …………….. TO BE CONTINUED !!!!!

MY DRUNKEN ESCAPADE – PART 2

(ACCELERATED……AND FINALLY DOOMED…)



Well , now we come to part two of the whole incident….The ACCELERATION…..This basically , how the whole plan got executed …Careful planning , a lot of thought and persuasion , and a little hint of emotional blackmailing were the key ingredients of this utterly tossed , sautéed and mashed night out plan which had already started to spread its addictive aroma all over the place making up for a scrumptious mouthful of timid partying !!! ( TIMID-For vital reasons stated before … )

Well my boss , finally understood my agony and empathetically took up the responsibility of asking my dad to let me out on a company dinner on the occasion of her birthday !!!! ( Love you for that , but I’m an ass , totally … Don’t worry folks , we’ll come to that in a while…) I was very apprehensive and was expecting a relentless “NO” , from my stringent father , but things fell into place , as I had slightly anticipated…coz boss’s word always works when it come to convincing parents…hehehe……..........

Well , now the major hurdle has been crossed , the only work left to be done now is to finally reach my destination……Little did I know that I was going to be doomed !!!!!!!

So all I pack up all my stuff as we our ready to leave and give certain finishing touches to my otherwise sloppy self . All set and done , we get into two cars and head on to our destination….I know its getting a little to extended without any real action happening , but my fellow bloggers , suspence is the key to a great climax for a story !!!!After all the red signals , snarling traffic and unwanted jams ( Try and understand the urgency man , I have to reach home early for god’s sake !!!! ), we finally reach TC’s…Hmmmm….…The place was kinda ok , nothing so great as I had previously been told, anyways , we got hold of a table and settled in comfortably and ordered our drinks , luckily, we arrived during the happy hours so we got extra drinks….As I had said , I gulped down two glasses of vodka , with negligible quantities of stupid lime cordial , which obviously hit me instantly and sent me into the world of dizziness and delusion , and when I say delusion , I mean it in all respects , delusion about people as well .( I BET THE GUYS WHO KNOW THE INCIDENT , CAN GET IT QUITE WELL. )

So , now I started to get into my rowdy , wild and whacky self , begging for more tequila and god knows what all…..Shouting , screaming and acting completely out of control , I projected my very juvenile self , acting totally uncool and embarrassing my mates. God what the hell was I thinking yaar ???? Abusing my hard to get freedom , and pissing of my office pals and making a complete fool of myself man !!!!

So basically , I lied , I drank , I went out of control , I betrayed….and finally reached my destination , ………DOOMSDAY !!!!!!!!!







P.S. – Most people must be knowing that this an incomplete version of the real

incident . Well , as they say, some things are better left unsaid !!!!

hahahahaahahah……….

If all ya guys out there get my point !!!!!

Height of getting pissed !!!! Its way up there !!!


Morning blues , parental nagging sessions , stress , stress and more stress !!! Driving my neurons nuts , and making my brain stand up to a virtual breakdown , seriously man !!!But that’s not it , I can get way more pissed than this, coz my heights of getting pissed haven’t been reached as yet !!! Yeah , you heard it right , I’m quite unaware about my capacity of handling stress !!! Sometimes it shocks me that I can withstand such tremendous pressure , but I guess I just become numb or rather indifferent to the whole situation to avoid the heat to get into my head . No wonder I feel really awkward in certain situations when the whole world is panicking , and I am simply taking it as if nothing has ever happened. So I can bet , that I would have looked the most composed in DAY AFTER TOMMOROW, may be that’s why they didn’t offer me a role !!!
Now coming to the topic of being pissed , well I do get pissed , but I don’t get MAJORLY pissed !!! But my turn off sessions can be quite difficult for others to handle. Trust me !!! People get freaked out when I get pissed, they feel that I am having fits or something for the simple reason that I start pulling my hair , screaming , shouting , banging things, banging my head , hitting people etc etc etc…sounds scary huh ?? Well , yeah , that’s the way it is !!! I’m a little too expressive , especially when I’m pissed !!! But its just a piece of my mad brain that I put on display , the rest of the anger just keeps boiling within me for hours at a stretch !!!
Its at times, its difficult to keep it tied up too much inside , it just oozes out at my family , which makes me mad even more !!! And with the daily dozes of nagging sessions from my family , my withstanding capacity just grows on increasing. More , more and more , it becomes hardcore and I’m forced to put it at test when it becomes unbearable !!!
I know I make my folks really pissed with my indifferent behavior , but it does not mean that they should backfire with the same tool !!! Common on man , use a better weapon , Its too obsolete for the parents of this generation, oops!!! , I forgot , you guys belong to the previous era , hahaah !!!
Anyways , the moral of the story is that I have plenty on my plate to handle in my as I start my life now , so by the time I face cut throat competition in which ever field I land up , I’ll be prepared to handle my obnoxiously bloated boss , bitching colleagues , irritating comrades , major fuck ups in the personal avenue and more shit , which my life has to offer !!!! Till then , I say this to all my fellas , CHILL OUT MAN !!!
Which I hardly can !!!!

DU admissions – hah !! A major pain in the , uuh , everywhere !!!!

BRAVE THE HEAT , BRAVE THE SUN
BRAVE THE RAIN , BRAVE THE MUCK
WALK ALL DAY LONG , FILLING ADMISSION FORMS
ONLY TO FIND OUT , THAT IN THE END YOU SUCK !!!!

This was the encouraging hymn that me and my comrades were humming all the while as we filled our admission forms in the most pathetic situations ever accompanied by our very own ,scorching sun, along with our fellow homo sapiens farting , stinking , clearing their throats , picking their nose etc etc etc etc…….and several other HACKNEYED actions which totally made our day !!!! We were already pretty screwed up with our IMPECCABLE RESULTS…..(Ahem Ahem!!! Seriously!! ), and plus we had received a surplus dose of nagging at our home sweet homes, to add on to the unceasingly lengthy list of miseries we were dealing with post board results. But how the hell can our parents be deprived of this elusive yet exhilarating pleasure that they get from these nagging sessions??!!?? ( OK , THAT’S A BIT TOO MUCH NOW )…But yeah , agreed, that we committed a CRIME !!! , but we don’t deserve nagging sessions yaar , we deserve better. Hahahaha……..Any ways , our bad luck just had to follow us around , and so we went hand in hand , through the streets of north HOT campus…!!!!! My dear friend , simi ,has her own personal stupid reasons of not getting on a rickshaw god knows why ,as if people are going to bother to glare at her while she’s taking a ride, or they are going to pass snide comments to demean her or something !!! For god’s sake man !!!! The whole world hitch’s a ride on a rickshaw especially when it blistering hot girl !!!
But as they say , habits die hard , but this is one helluva nasty habit man !!! Making others scapegoats simply because you feel like a jackass on a rickshaw in a crowd full of morons !!!! Well , we braved the heat , as I had mentioned earlier, to reach our several destinations and finally gave our elusively tired feet a little rest and the cafeteria in the most revered college, where I can only dream of studying , well I guess its not too hard to guess , ST. STEPHENS !!!!! But the best part comes now , my encounter with the most annoying and embarrassing situations I’ve ever faced , especially in full view of stephenian hot hunks !!!! How can my luck hit me so hard man ??? I had got a major kick in my butt for throwing my nasty tantrums around , I just should have stayed the way I normally am , open to whatever shit life throws at me!!! But I had to ACT SMART, and as the rhyme goes ,
HUMPTY DUMPTY SAT ON THE WALL
HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL…..
And to add a little more spice to this otherwise prosaic yet very befitting poem , here’s an original composition ….

MISS DIMWIT SAT ON THE CAFÉ CHAIR
MISS DIMWIT FELL HARD, ON HER REAR (haha, It rhymes well huh ? )
CAUSING EVERYONE PRESENT TO STARE
SHE GOT UP SCREAMING , HOWLING , TOTALLY UNCOOL
LOOKING LIKE A DAMN FOOL
OBVIOUSLY NOT MAKING THE HUNKS DROOL
SO BASICALLY , SHE GOT SCREWED
AND I CAN’T HELP BUT WONDER
WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH YOU DUDE !!!!!

Hey not bad man !!!! So all you guys got at least a gist of what I made of myself , while I had gone to get my self admitted to this one helluva university, but I must say , it wasn’t all that bad , rather , it was great fun when we relaxed at nirula’s reminiscing about my freak show…It surely is quite a cute memory though…Hopefully not for the hot hunks……..

diabolique pizza !!!

GREAT... u sure can become a mystery writer... u toh dont even need tips from Dan Brown, u have already started with the diabolique stuff! kudos!

and ur post did make my stomach flutter into worlds of fantasy...sadly at this hour, my only resort is the refrigerator, and i really dont have any hopes of salvation or attaining NIRVANA through it