The victim.............

Subject: The victim............. Sat Jul 14, 2007 7:32 pm

my world was dark
yet i was safe
in my mothers womb i lay
i felt her warmth
i lived in her
from the beginning of my day
a foetus i was ,not yet a child
yet in my mind i knew
some day i would see the world
i would be a baby new
the world i'd see
and i would grow
slowly into a man
and later on when time would come
a family i would plan
alas!for me
i felt a chill
when suddenly my parents planned to kill me
they wanted to get rid of me
as children they did not want
"oh no!"i shouted
"i want to live
i want to be a child
i want to see ur lovely world
i'll be meek and mild!"
no one heard my cry of pain
when instruments tore at me
and in my mothers womb i was slain
now i'll never be a child
nor the world i'll see........

Number of posts : 89 Age : 36 Registration date : 2007-06-24

now i'll never be the child,
nor the world as that i'll see...

(an adaptation from yer lines...)

Subject: Re: The victim............. Sat Jul 14, 2007 8:00 pm

wow!!! thts relly emotnal.... damn gud!

Subject: Re: The victim............. Tue Jul 24, 2007 12:09 am

hey...now thats what u call being talented!!!! wow mind blowing and touching...dint know you were a poet too, apart from being one hellavu speaker ....bravo....lovely!!!!.....

god bless

Subject: Re: The victim............. Tue Jul 24, 2007 12:18 am

cheers for u man:cheers: it was nice poem hats off to u!!!!! hope to get more from u reply expected

Subject: Re: The victim............. Tue Jul 24, 2007 12:36 am

thanx for appreciating the poem guys...i would also appreciate if u guys let me know if you felt that i could have improved somewhere....

Subject: Re: The victim............. Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:02 pm

the thought was put forward very well...great...you cud have tried to work hard at the rhyme...but that is secondary anyway...

Subject: Re: The victim............. Fri Jul 27, 2007 6:49 pm

gud one..

Subject: Re: The victim............. Sun Jul 29, 2007 5:22 pm

i am a very unconventional poet...i normally never work on the rhyme pattern coz i find it of no use but next time i will try and work on the rhyme pattern as well...........

Subject: Re: The victim............. Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:21 pm

do lemme know how you found my other poem 'bonded' and whether it is better than this one...

Subject: Re: The victim............. Mon Aug 13, 2007 6:54 pm

hey abhimanyu, gr8 work ya....keep it up....ur poem really moved me....

Subject: Re: The victim............. Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:54 pm

thanx naznad...i will try to live upto the expectations of the people....

Subject: Re: The victim............. Tue Aug 14, 2007 5:00 pm

very touching poem silent

Subject: Re: The victim............. Thu Aug 23, 2007 2:07 pm

thanx sweta..i hope i was able to express my thoughts properly....but its really sad to see ppl aborting and destroying a human life before it even got the chance to see life.......