A Letter To Paris Hilton...

Subject: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sat Aug 04, 2007 2:20 am

Dear Paris,

How are you? Firstly, I would like to say that I am writing this letter in pink because Wikipedia tells me it's your favorite colour. I know the last few months have been really tough on you, and I am therefore writing this letter to tell you that I am on your side.

Ever since your jail sentence was announced, people in America have been celebrating with unprecedented fervor. I know you have no idea what the last two words of the previous sentence meant, so let me put it in simpler words ---- Most Americans hate you. And to quote your famous words of wisdom, “That is so not hot”.

Every time I watch Jay Leno or Conan O’Brien on T.V., they make a cheap joke about you, and the audience claps as though it were the first time they realized that they had the ability to make noise with their hands. Who the hell even decided that slapping one hand with the other should be a sign of appreciation? I do not expect you to know the answer, so please don’t bother thinking about it.

You also have all the major news networks bringing on a bunch of depressed old women to trash you and say you’re a spoilt brat who should go to jail for a year. A year?? All you did was drive drunk. You didn’t kill or harm anyone. If there’s anything you should go to jail for, it’s your music album. The stars are blind, but unfortunately the humans are not deaf.

The main reason people, essentially the media, say they hate you is because you are famous for no reason. Well firstly, the media has no right to complain because they are what made you famous in the first place. You did not ask for them to follow you around everywhere you go. You did not ask them to watch your horrible reality show featuring your formerly chubby and now anorexic best friend. You did not ask them to take pictures of you reading “The Idiot’s Guide to Reading Books” upside down.

Secondly, I believe that you do deserve the fame you have. The sex tapes you made might have had poor production values and the dialogue left a lot to be desired, but it changed a lot of lives. Poor horny male kids who had nothing going for them could now say that they had you, Paris Hilton, naked in their bedroom. Other celebrities have since decided that they too need to show their sexual talents to the world as they have no other talents at their disposal. Oprah has her way of changing lives. You have yours. Who are we to judge which way is right, and which way is wrong? Please do not answer this question.

The truth is that no one gives themselves fame. Fame is given to you by the public and the media. The media thinks that you go around getting drunk and having sex with innumerable people because you want the publicity and attention. You and I both know that you are way too dumb to play the media. And if what they say is true, and they did get played, how incredibly stupid are they? The basic fact is that you are easy and that is all. If everyone hates you to this extreme level only because you are a slut, then that’s just sad. Personally, I would like to say that I love sluts. I am a budding one myself.

I think there’s a deeper, more psychological reason as to why you are derided as much as you are. It’s known as Schadenfreude, a German word that means “Taking pleasure in the suffering of others”. So the next time anyone disses you or tries to bring you down, just scream “Schadenfreude!”. Not only will it confuse the shit out of them, but it might also make people think you have a brain. Or maybe they’ll just end up thinking you’ve been having lots of German sex. You never know..

I would like to conclude this letter by telling you that you should be proud of who you are. You are the most high profile slut in the world. And you should be proud of it.

Yours sincerely,
Nishaan.

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sat Aug 04, 2007 2:28 am

welcome aboard nishaan...loved your intro!!!

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sat Aug 04, 2007 2:29 am

hahahahahahahahhahahahahahoohohohohohohhohhoh:lol!: ....too good mate........she is one H**** B****...hhahahahaha

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sat Aug 04, 2007 2:32 am

Thank you both Smile

(I generally don't use smileys but I don't know how else to express some semblance of warmth online)

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sat Aug 04, 2007 2:34 am

LOL..dude amazinnnnn..dam funny..did u actually write it?!

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sat Aug 04, 2007 2:38 am

Thanks man. And ya I did write it...But sadly I could not send it to her. I'll get over it...eventually.

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sat Aug 04, 2007 3:06 pm

cool piece of writing!
God knows we need humour.
keep it up

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sat Aug 04, 2007 3:50 pm

zis is ze funniest blog on ze forum.....way to go mate!!

satire at its best it is:D

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sat Aug 04, 2007 5:11 pm

Thank you Vaibhav and Zank you Supriya.

Number of posts : 117 Registration date : 2007-06-09

zabardast !

kya nishana mara hai boss!

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sat Aug 04, 2007 5:23 pm

hahaha shukriya shukriya

Number of posts : 236 Age : 36 Registration date : 2007-07-03

gorgeous....lol..too good

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sun Aug 05, 2007 12:20 am

maan......jst 22222 gud............

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sun Aug 05, 2007 12:30 am

Thanks a lot Romina and Pratham...I appreciate the comments.

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sun Aug 05, 2007 12:49 am

amainggg humour! ... gr8 sense of style!

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Sun Aug 05, 2007 10:25 pm

Thank you Ritika:)

Number of posts : 39 Age : 36 Registration date : 2007-07-09

that's haWt Laughing

Subject: Re: A Letter To Paris Hilton... Fri Aug 10, 2007 8:55 am

IF ITS PINK ITS GOTTA BE HAWT

» LETTER FOR GOD
» [Game] Last Letter Chain Game